Still need help with this. Need more answers. Serious answers only. Really embaring...?

This is getting a little redundant, but I want everyone to know that I'm not posting this to be annoying. I've already asked this before, but I need more answers. First of all, I want to say that I'm sorry that this question is so long. I'd also like to apologize for being what I'm about to describe. Please keep in mind how embaring this is and please respond only with serious answers. Okay. I consider myself to be respectful when it comes to girls, despite not having much experience dating (I'm a senior in High School and had a girlfriend in my sopre year for two months.). I like the girl that I'm with to feel appreciated and loved, but what I'm about to say completely contradicts what I'm telling you. For the longest time, I have had urges, which, as you are all aware, is expected of a guy. But, for me, it's different. Ever since I knew what was, I have had these images in my head. They are of a very provocative nature. Mostly, they are of beautiful women that are in different types of . Sometimes it would be a form of (consentual) ual slavery, and sometimes the woman is being punished with an instrument of some kind. (Use your imagination...) Since I can remember, I've just seen these things as some really hot images. But I also find myself look at this and I think, "This is so wrong. I shouldn't think of girls this way. How many girls would actually want to participate in something like that?" I continued to debate with myself like this, but I eventually got to the point where, if I so much as saw a girl trussed up in any way, well, I was constantly having urges. But recently, I had another thought concerning images like these, and it was the last straw for me. I actually feel ashamed of everything I've ever thought to that effect. I actually felt so guilty about it today that I actually felt sick to my stomach. I've been wondering since me and my girlfriend broke up (after two months. I never told her about any of this) why I haven't been able to get another girlfriend. I mean, everybody tells me that I'm good-looking, but nobody seems to want to go out with me. I'm starting to wonder if my being single is God's way of punishing me for thinking about such unclean things. I can't help but be curious about these things, but they make me feel like I'm some kind of filthy freak. Whether I control it or not, it's slowly causing me to hate myself. And even if there wasn't anything wrong with the things I think about, I don't think that there is a girl alive who would want to try it out, let alone with someone like me. I think that they would just see me as some kind of monster. And even of they didn't, maybe God is also trying to tell me that I don't deserve them. What can I do? I just want somebody to tell me their opinion about this. I don't want to be seen as some kind of monstrosity.